MSTable movies: Y

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YETI: THE GIANT OF THE 20TH CENTURY (original title YETI - IL GIGANTE DEL 20. SECOLO) (1977)
A 50-foot-tall guy with big hair is found in a chunk of ice and thawed out. Of course, he's not dead, and he befriends a girl, her disabled brother, and their cute dog. Unfortunately, evil and greedy men want to own the yeti, so they hurt the cute dog and make the yeti mad, so he goes on a rampage, destroys some stuff, is eventually calmed down, and lives happily ever after.

A very cheap, very stupid King Kong ripoff... Good MST3K material. One hilarious scene occurs when the boy and his dog are reunited and run to each other in slow motion, the boy with his arms happily outstretched. The yeti himself, is, as I said above, just a guy with big hair and a beard, sort of like an ancient hippie.

Demian Katz, katz@netaxs.com
YOG: MONSTER FROM SPACE
It is another japanese monster movie. It stars a giant octopus (Yog) made of styrofoam, insolation, green spray paint, and other houshold products. The yog is accompanied by giant crabs and other various crustaceans that reek havoc all around. I have MISTIED this movie personally and I feel it is the perfect movie for the funniest dang show on earth.
Jordan Cassavant, scassavant@datacoreeng.com
YONGARY, MONSTER FROM THE DEEP (original title DAI KOESU YONGKARI) (1967) American-International Television/Kuk Dong/Toei
This movie was used for the "Do It Yourself MST3K" session at OryCon 19, and it was an excellent choice. Picture one of the less inspired Godzilla movies... now picture a cheap Korean ripoff of it, and that's Yongary. There's the scientist and his girlfriend, and the giant rubber monster, and the metropolitan buildings that appear to be made of styrofoam, and, of course, the annoying little kid in disturbingly small pants (even when his top half is dressed up nicely for a wedding party!) who forms a sort of love-fear relationship with the monster, attacking it with an itch ray one minute and claiming it's his best friend the next. Eventually, the magic bullet is discovered and Yongary lies dead and melting in the river. Subplots include a pair of newlyweds with "issues" on their wedding night, and a spaceship that looks like the end of a tube of toothpaste being shot into space for no apparent reason.
From the editor
YOR: THE HUNTER FROM THE FUTURE (1983)
I saw this on HBO at some ungodly hour of the night. This comes close to Manos, but it had a higher budget. This blond guy fights dinosaurs, blue-faced guys that reminded me of over-sized smurfs, finds a flaming sword that is made out of stone (go figure), discovers that he actually belongs to a race of humans from the future, and manages to destroy this evil wizard-type guy. Truly awful, and only recommended for the hard-core MST3K fans. Crow would have a field day. Warning: keep small children and emotionally immature adults away from the TV.
Matthew Butkus, butkusm@gunet.georgetown.edu

Imaging Dana Carvey as Garth Algar starring in "Teenage Caveman," and you pretty much have the plot for this film. I saw this film on HBO late at night (after MST3K, as a matter of fact), and figured it had to be a total T & A movie. Nope. It was pretty violent, the worst parts being when our hero, Garth... err... Yor kills a couple of dinosaurs and the blood is a-flowin' in these scenes. But, like I said, it's pretty much "Teenage Caveman 1993." You find out late in the film that these cavemen aren't our ancestors. This movie takes place in the future! Yor finds out that an evil overlord is living on an island terrorizing other cavemen, so her hunts him down, gets a laser gun, and manages to blow up a nuclear reactor to save the day, and then is made ruler of the world. I watched this film ALONE and still managed to rip it up pretty good. I can only imagine watching this at a MST-ing party! This movie is definitely a must-see for bad movie afficianados!

Michael R. Schneider, mrs@ucla.edu

Incomprehensible, yet much fun to watch. If you read the back of the video sleeve after seeing it, you can tell even the blurb-writers had no idea what it was really about. Phenomenal cliches, over-the-top bad theme music, dialogue pieced together from the Bad Dialogue Dictionary ("I am surrounded by fools!") and the final peppermint-stick death, and yet it was made in the 80's. It's the only film I've ever seen given a "1" by Leonard Maltin, and I'll be amazed it if never shows up on MST3K.

Scott, em263@badwiring.com
YOUNG, VIOLENT, AND DESPERATE
I saw this atrociously dubbed wonder on a local TV movie matinee. Despite a provocative title, this one has a plot that could have been stolen from just about any 1950's American j.d. flick. Three middle-aged teenage punks (they look like the Beastie Boys) kidnap a girl and force her to accompany them as they terrorize the city of Milan. They crack dumb jokes as she just sits there and looks helpless. Features ludicrous car chases and inept cops who can only shake their heads in disbelief. The musical score never matches what's happening on the screen. The '70s millieu adds to the fun. It all ends when the punks accidentally drive off a bridge. Hysterically bad. Would make a great double-bill with The Beatniks.
danc@nb.net

Petréa Mitchell
pravn@m5p.com